That's intense
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
