she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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