They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Randomize
