My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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