32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Randomize
