pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
