I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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