Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
