Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
