Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
