im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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