okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
