I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
