Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
