i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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