im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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