Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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