love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
