Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
