Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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