u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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