well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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