I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
never play flip cup with pint glasses
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
