I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
