Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
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