i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!