Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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