Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize