Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
