I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
