I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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