i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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