She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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