How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
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