does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
