I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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