3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
