Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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