Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You're like the curious george of whores
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
