sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
In other news, I just burned my penis
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
