Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
