I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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