Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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