fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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