ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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