dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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