you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
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You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
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A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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