I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
this will be a night to untag.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
