You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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