I got chris browned last night
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
