did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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