He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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