upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
