how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
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Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
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I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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