Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
You ate ashes out of my bong
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