Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
