I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
My bed is full of blood and feathers
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
