These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
