brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
You can't just leave with hair like that
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
