Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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