I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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