So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
