Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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