if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
