she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
